"I.D.Ten Tee"
One morning, the IT guy gets in to work. Right away, he gets a call from one of his favorite people in the office. As he takes the call he can't help but think, "Not again. This guy has nothing better to do than to screw up his computer..." He promises to be right down and hangs up the phone. He heads out to the guy's desk, grumbling all the way. As he arrives, he rolls his eyes at the mess on the computer screen. Promptly punches a couple of buttons and says," Okay, you're all set, Bill."
"Well, what was it?" he asks.
"Well, it turns out it wa sthe same thing that happened last time, but I fixed it."
"Yeah, but what was it so it doesn't happen again?"
"Oh, it was just an I.D.-ten-tee error. You can't avoid it."
"What is that? I remember you said that's what it was last time, too."
"Don't worry about it."
"No, really, I want to know."
"Just write it down, letters and numbers no dashes. I gotta head back. Call me if you need anything else."
So the worker sits down and writes it out.
ID10T... |
NERD QUOTES
"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
"I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly."
"I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code."
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
"1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d."
"Be nice to Nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one."
"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a workstation..." |
Gaming Geek Vernacular
Here's how to translate the things gaming geeks are saying (and typing) behind your back.
pwned: (also, "you got pwned") This means "you got owned," meaning, "I own you." Derived from a common type-o when actually trying to type the word "own' (pwn) or "owned." Also see: pwnd; pwnt.
newb: This is slang for "newbie" or a new person to enter the gaming world. This is never a compliment or a welcome to the game - it is striclty meant as an insult, as in, "Only a newb would be so ignorant as to try such foolishness." Also see: noob; n00b; n3wb.
uber: German word for "over," this is commonly used to mean "the ultimate," as in, "I am the Uber Nerd."
leet: Originally meant to commemorate geeks with "elite" status in the 80's - those who were able to hack code and access confidential files in superior fashion to others ("leets"). These days it is an alternative to the more common, "sweet."
O RLY: Nerd-shorthand for, "Oh really?" Rarely meant as a kind gesture, it is typically an announcement of an upcoming rebuttal to someone's preceding insult. A typical usage would be as follows:
"ura n00b."
"O RLY?! prepare 4 my pwnage!" |
Things Nerds Think Are Great
Nerds don't enjoy the same things that regular, normal people enjoy. Not being given full social acceptance, nerds are forced to look elsewhere for instant gratification. Here are some samples of such.
Using an alternative web browser to anything that is commonplace. Nerds love to share their knowledge for seemingly finding a better version of something that is already perfectly functional. True, they may find something with some improvements, but nerds, being outcasts, are typically unable to comprehend the rule of "diminishing returns." Their alternative web browsers are typically insignificantly different to the common browsers.
Tricking out one's gaming computer and/or gaming system. While most males tend to trick out things that have the possibility of attracting the opposite sex (i.e.: vehicles, wardrobe, etc.), nerds, due to repetitive failure with the opposite sex, typically give up on this at an early age and, therefore, seek acceptance by impressing other nerds by out-nerding them.
Being fashionably out of fashion. Nerds will claim they like a certain look, but it is really nothing more than not knowing the current fashions. "I love terry-cloth shirts! That's my thing!" is their defense for wearing (let alone still owning) such foolish-looking, outdated clothes.
Always having a one-better story, no matter what. After someone tells a story of somewhat impressive magnitude, nerds, while trying desparately to fit in, will immediately chime in with an unimpressive follow-up story that starts with, "That's nothing! This one time I was..." The story usually concludes with silence and/or the complete dispersion of the crowd. |
